


Lost Letters

by anotherines9



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bromance, Friendship, Gen, Letters, Memories, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7580608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherines9/pseuds/anotherines9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Before being frozen, Bucky demanded Steve to go back to his last apartment in Bucharest to find a red cardboard box which had important and special stuff for Steve." While Steve went to Bucharest, Sam stayed at Wakanda's laboratory to protect Bucky. But he discovered what he really felt for Bucky... and it's not love ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Letters

_**Chapter One** _

  
Before being frozen, Bucky demanded Steve to go back to his last apartment in Bucharest to find a red cardboard box which had important and special stuff for Steve.  
\- Please, Steve. Find it! Don’t talk. Just go there. I can’t talk too much about what is inside of it. Now, I have to go. - said it very quickly and briefly as walking into the room where the doctors were waiting for him.  
\- I’ll go with you, Bucky. And I promise I’ll go…

Both entered in the small room. Bucky just seated on a stretcher while some doctors prepared to examine him before he going to the cold storage chamber. Steve stared at everything. When he lays his eyes on his friend, Steve shivered because his friend was without an arm or the metal arm. He was asking himself why Bucky choose to be frozen again instead of fighting with him, with his best friend. They were the best colleagues on high school, college and at war. Fighting against a secret agency that years later, Steve discovered that agency was responsible to turn his best friend into a serial-killer. And what he has done, let Steve surprised.

He knew the murder of Stark’s parents and he wanted to tell Tony what happened in that night and to make him know that Bucky was not himself. It was controlled! But, time passed, and he didn’t tell anything about it to Tony. He could avoid such a terrible war against one of the most dangerous colleagues. He didn’t deserve to know what happened in that way. However, Steve thought that he and Tony were the colleagues as they were once. “Maybe”.

( . . . )

After all the process being done, Steve got out of the laboratory and went in the black car where Sam was waiting for him.

\- So, now he’s frozen. What should we do? Drinking? – asked Sam jokingly, while Steve was looking for nowhere with a disturbed face. - Sorry if I offending you…- Sam started the engine and the car just glided slowly until Sam pressed the accelerator. Steve looked at him smiling:  
\- No, Sam. I wasn’t listening to you… Sorry, son. Listen, I need to go to Bucharest. – his smile faded and he moved his head, staring through the window at Wakanda.  
\- Why? Is there any treasure? – the car turned to the right in direction to the airport.  
\- I don’t know what awaits me. Bucky only said it was for me. And to protect it. – suddenly, Steve looked in Sam’s eyes – I need a favour of yours.  
\- What?? – he stopped the car violently. The traffic jam was red.  
\- I need you to stay here with Bucky.  
\- What the…? – The traffic jam turned to green and the car glided until it stopped at the entrance of the airport. – Why? What I’ll do if he is frozen? Babysitting?? – stared sceptically to him while Steve prepared to get out of the car.  
\- Listen, Sam. I’m not kidding. I need you here to protect and to inform me what T’Challa can do for Bucky. Can you do this favour for me? – begged Steve, with a serious look.  
\- Okay, man! I’ll do it. Protect yourself, too. – Steve left the car and Sam left the airport and drove back to the laboratory to start this new mission.

Inside of the airport, Steve watched the flight’s panel. “There’s a flight for Bucharest in 10 minutes. I should hurry up!”. Impulsively, he ran to the ticket’s counter and bought one—way ticket for Bucharest. Then, he found the gate of his flight and ran against a queue of people. – Excuse me!!! I’m sorry!! I’m late!! Excuse me!!! – When he reached the gate, he was the last person to be on board. The stewardess verified his ticket and let Steve go. Steve got in the airplane in such a hurry and searched for his seat. He found it near to the window. Seated, he got ready for the takeoff, staring outside: “I’m going, Bucky!”

 

_**Chapter Two** _

 

Sam cleared his throat one more time and, in the reception of Wakanda’s laboratory, said:

\- Steve Rogers, or as known as Captain America, begged me to stay here to protect his friend, James Buchanan Barnes, and to transmit him any development about his case.  
\- Please, Mr. Wilson. We have an excellent security system and we can inform Mr. Rogers when the team will proceed the treatment, yet not found. – told the young receptionist carrying some files in her arms.  
\- But… Mr. Rogers is responsible for Mr. Barnes’ treatment and he asked me to stay here and to inform him…  
\- Excuse me, Mr. Wilson. I don’t have any authorization to allow you to stay here protecting one of our patients. Please, you have to leave before I call our security agents. – two agents got closer to Sam when someone entered.  
\- Good Morning! – he walked in and stopped next to Sam. Sam turned around and saw T’Challa with a big smile. All the people, even the receptionist, bowed when T’Challa restarted to speak – Mr. Wilson. The man who likes Birds. It’s good to see you again. How’s that going?  
Sam stared at T’Challa awkwardly with his statement about liking birds.  
\- Majesty… what? Like birds? Really?  
\- Yes, Mr. Wilson. You joked about me liking cats. Am I not right? – Sam gulped and bowed apologising:  
\- I’m really sorry, majesty. I didn’t mean it.

Sam looked at T’Challa with a sad face while T’Challa cleared his throat to be heard in the whole room.

\- Mr. Wilson. I know why you are here. Mr. Rogers called me a few seconds ago and I allow you to stay here to do what Mr. Rogers ask. Protect your mutual friend and inform him of his treatment. Nothing more.  
\- But…Bucky is not…. – T’Challa made a sarcastic smile and open more his eyes expressing that Sam should confirm what he said – Okay. I’ll do only what Mr. Rogers asked me to do. Nothing more, majesty. You have my word.

After this moment, T’Challa said goodbye and Sam turned around and climbed the stairs. He walked into some halls to reach Bucky’s room. Sam opened the door and saw Bucky in a cold storage chamber horizontally. Sam walked in slowly until he stopped close to it and observed Bucky.

\- I’m not your friend! You need to pay that fucking car you once destroyed. I’ll never forget that. Neither forgive!

Sam searched a chair to seat. He dragged a white chair from a desk and put near the chamber. When he sat down, he could feel how much cold the chamber was.

\- Damn! You’re not good in there! Neither am I here! It’s too cold!! I feel my knees freezing!

Then Sam dragged the chair not so far from the chamber to still look at Bucky.

\- Well… I’ll explain to you why I’m here. Your real friend Steve, begged me to stay here...

 

_**Chapter 3** _

 

Steve arrived at Bucky’s last apartment. Inside of it, everything was covered in dust and there were remains of the last ruffle between Steve and Bucky: when he tried to convince his best friend to fight together but without success. Steve walked in slowly, staring at every furniture around him. The bedroom was so messy. Pieces of Bucky’s clothing were scattered on the floor. Steve’s eyes looked at something very familiar to him. He got closer to a chair and lifted up a blue old jacket. He held it high to discover why that jacket was so familiar to him. Then he remembered that day. That day when Bucky fell over the train and he thought he would have lost his friend forever. Small tears dropped over his pale face. In one move, Steve held the blue jacket so tight against his chest. “Why?? Why that happened to you?? Why?” He sat on the bed wondering about what he could have done in that day.

One hour passed and Steve was with no expression, laying on the bed and looking for nowhere. Suddenly, he woke up from what he was thinking. He got up and put the blue jacket on his right side. “I have to find that red box!”. He stood up and began to rummage through the drawers from an old wood furniture, and searched in the wardrobe and then under the bed. Kneeled, he put his arms under the bed and try to feel something in his hands. He touched in something and dragged it out. It was the red cardboard box that Bucky told him to find. He removed slowly its cover and found a lot of white envelopes. Upon all, there was an envelope with “For you, my friend Steve” written. Steve opened the envelope and took a tiny paper away. Breathed in, breathed out, Steve read what was written in the paper carefully.

  
“Steve,  
I let here a bunch of letters that I should have sent you some years ago. I wrote those when I was aware of myself, when no one controlled me. However, you’ll find this box when I’ll be dead or frozen again for some reason. The truth is I can’t control my own mind. And writing those letters were big step for me: to keep calm, to remember my past and my best friend, you! Also, to acknowledge  
what is right and what is wrong and to not make any silly decision as commit suicide.  
I remember every single thing of those horrible murders I’ve done and I should have stopped it! I should!!! But I was useless. I felt crap. I’m sure you’ll forgive me, but there’s people who won’t forgive me. I broke their hearts. I know I have to carry this guilt for the rest of my life.  
Read those letters. They are all for you. One day maybe we’ll meet again and fight together.  
Hugs from your old buddy,  
Bucky”

  
_**Chapter 4** _

 

Two weeks passed. The doctors told Sam that they are almost discovering the right treatment for Bucky and in few weeks they would start the treatment.

Sam was sitting in the same chair. His head turned to a pile of files which are on the white desk close to him. He asked one week later to an assistant if he could access to Bucky’s files. He said it was an order from Steve. It was a lie, obviously. The assistant delivered the files in the previous day but Sam was so exhausted to studying them. In that time, Sam was sitting, staring at the files. But there’s more in the files. He stood up and went near to the desk. He saw three books. One of them Sam recognized it because of its red cover and the tiny little star in the centre. The others had also the star but the colours were different. One was blue and the other green. Curious, Sam opened the blue book and in the introduction was written that all the missions were written in that book was all done by Winter Soldier and they were succeeded.

He began to thumb through the book, reading quickly all the missions were all about and the reason why. He discovered that Bucky killed several S.H.I.E.L.D spies and he destroyed an organization which was about to start in Europe with the same mission as S.H.I.E.L.D. “E.S.S” or, “European Superheroes Society” was a non-famous organization that should have put together European superheroes to fight against enemies as Hydra. But Hydra knew somehow this organization and ordered Bucky to kill its chiefs. Also, he killed ministers from various countries with the reason they were a threat for Hydra and he should have erased them with no mercy. Sam was focus on Bucky missions that didn’t notice T’Challa entered in the room with two doctors.

\- Good afternoon, Mr. Wilson. – T’Challa coughed and Sam jumped and looked at T’Challa surprised - We have an excellent news. Mr. Barnes will be submitted to surgery next week. You will follow all the surgery to transmit everything you saw to Mr. Rogers. Have a nice day.  
\- Thanks, majesty. I’ll communicate these good news with him. – T’Challa smiled and left the room with the two doctors. Sam smiled and looked at Bucky:  
\- Well, you’ll get better, Bucky. Let’s see if everything they planned to do with you works!

  
_**Chapter 5** _

 

It was the 12th letter he was reading in those two weeks he spent in Bucharest. Steve yawned before opened it and then he started to read.

  
“Steve,  
Today I finished two more missions and one more time I feel disgusted. I want to die, Steve. I can’t handle this useless feeling. I want to fight back against these maniacs’ doctors. I want my life back. I want fight with you again.  
But I what I want the most is our old high school days back. It was so funny and everything went so well. It makes me happy to remember some of our days together talking about school’s subjects, girls, and about a war that was approaching apace and which changed our lives forever. You became taller than me, stronger than me so quickly and I was so proud of you, buddy! You should be like that before to conquer all the girls we have met in those old times. And now I remember a night on the town where we were “hunting” girls on the pubs but we didn’t have any luck. I’m laughing so much because after dawn and we were so drunk that we almost kissed each other. Do you remember that? Shit! It was so funny.  
However, those times will never come back and I’m here waiting for new missions. I wonder where you are, Steve. What have you been doing and how is your heart? Did you conquer any girl? I think I’m losing everything.  
Well, I have to stop writing. See you one day, Steve. I hope.”

Steve was smiling and crying at the same time. He remembered so well that long night in Brooklyn. They were so drunk. They danced, sang and, of course, they pretended to kiss each other. Bucky was the Man and Steve was the Woman. He laughed so much. It was a good memory. “Maybe one day, we can repeat that scene. Be drunk and have fun!”.

 

_**Chapter 6** _

 

Sam was nervous. He was in a black cabinet built for visitors who wanted to follow the surgeries. In that cabinet, there was a window for the operating room and black chairs. T’Challa was there too but sat in one chair. He noticed that Sam was trembling and with a concerned face.

\- Mr. Wilson, you need to calm down. You should seat down before you have a heart attack – T’Challa advised but Sam pretended he wasn’t listening to him. Suddenly, three doctors brought Bucky in a stretcher. Sam stared closer and saw that the doctors shaved all Bucky’s hair. He was unrecognizable.  
\- The doctors have to open his head to inject the antidote directly in his brain. He will be fine...

Sam didn’t show any safety about T’Challa statement.

\- Are there any secondary effects when they inject that?  
\- I don’t know, Mr. Wilson... But I hope not! – T’Challa smiled but he saw how focused Sam was on what the doctors were doing.

One hour passed. Sam was sat in a chair looking carefully at the surgery when T’Challa arrived at the room and sat down close to Sam.

\- They will inject the antidote now, Mr. Wilson.

Sam stood up and stepped closer to the window. One doctor had a syringe in his hands while the other two opened more the hole they have made in Bucky’s head. The doctor went closer to Bucky’s head and, in one move, he injected the antidote. Nothing happened. Everything was stable. 10 seconds later, the two doctors closed Bucky’s brain pan. Sam was nervous again.

\- Your, majesty... can he remember everything he has done until he was frozen?  
\- The investigators and the doctors assured me that Mr. Barnes will remember everything. – T’Challa smiled confident that everything was all right.

Suddenly, something strange happened. When the doctors finished their work, Bucky’s body started to shake in an aggressive way. The doctors tied quickly his arms, head and legs. Then, Bucky was foaming at the mouth.

Sam, horrified, began to beat against the window and asking “What is happening?” repeatedly. T’Challa pushed him back in order to not break the glass. In one second, all Bucky’s body stopped. The heartbeat machine emitted a continuous sound which meant that Bucky’s heart stopped. Sam fell in his knees and cried compulsively. T’Challa left Sam crying and ran to know what was happening with Bucky. The doctor, who injected the antidote, brought defibrillator and began to reanimate Bucky. In 10 seconds, the doctor brought Bucky back to life. Sam was so relieved. With tears dropping in his cheeks, he smiled. He was so happy!

 

_**Chapter 7** _

 

Seve didn’t know nothing about the surgery. But he wasn’t so concerned about that. It was 22nd letter he was reading since he was in Bucharest.

  
“Steve,  
Today was a horrible day. I killed an old couple...a famous couple: The Starks. This is so horrible. Do you remember when we went to a Stark’s Exposition? When you tried to get into a military basic training? Yeah... I killed the master of those big expositions. I’m feeling so bad. And the worst, they had a son! He’s now an orphan like us! I killed his parents! And he will spend Christmas alone!  
I’m feeling so shitty right now. This murder will follow me until my death. And I remember when I saw panic in Mrs. Stark’s eyes. I didn’t want kill her but my mind pressured me to do it. I’m done. At dawn, I will kill myself. I can’t handle killing more innocent people. Sorry, Steve. If we never see again, please find the Stark’s son and ask him forgiveness for me. I’m so sorry...”

 

In the end of the letter, there was a dried tear. Steve thought that Bucky was repentant of that murder and he really wanted to kill himself. But he didn’t for some reason.  
Steve was sure that Stark could forgave him for that stupid war and Bucky because he wasn’t himself when he killed Stark’s parents. And, then, he remembered about the surgery. He called to Sam but he didn’t response. He began to be nervous....

  
_**Chapter 8** _

 

\- Mr. Barnes will stay under the supervision of our doctors one week more. He’s stabilized and no doctor checked any perturbation as observed in the end of the surgery. Now, you must rest, Mr. Wilson. It has been a though week.

Sam thanked T’Challa for this last information. Nothing special happened after the surgery. The doctors gave to Bucky injections and vitamins. His brain was working normally with no perturbations. The doctors told that he didn’t lose any memory in the end of the surgery with that unpredictable “attack”. Sam hadn’t slept during that week. He wanted to be awake to see what the doctors were doing with Bucky.

Sam went to the bedroom and laid down on the couch. “Why I’m feeling so attached to Bucky? He’s not my friend... yet. Maybe we can be friends when he wakes up from anesthesia. But if he doesn’t remember me? We fought together against Stark’s team. Well, T’Challa and the doctors assured me twice that he will remember everything even the bad episodes. I hope he remember me. If he doesn’t... I don’t know what to do. He seems a nice guy. However, I wanted him dead when he destroyed my car removing my wheel!” Sam sighed and turned to the left side where he could see the bed and one painting of a Wakanda’s landscape. “No. Now I want him alive and fighting by my side. No. Fighting with us: with me and Steve. We will become a great trio! ... “And Sam fell asleep. That night, he dreamt about a battle where he, Bucky and Steve were fighting against a “monster” and, in the end of the battle, they won.

  
_**Chapter 9** _

 

It was the last letter. Steve was about to finish his mission. He felt that was time to come back to Wakanda and to meet Bucky. His Bucky. Those letters showed how Bucky had gone through when he was controlled by Hydra. Some letters made Steve surprised, others made him sad and when Bucky wrote his memories of high school’s days, made Steve happy.

Steve was sitting on the old brown couch in Bucky’s last apartment. Next to him, there was a black backpack. He was ready to leave and to travel to Wakanda. In his hands, the last letter. He sighed and read it.

  
“Steve,  
I don’t know how to tell what I’m feeling now. Today, I tried to kill you! I’M SO SORRY, STEVE. I don’t know why my mind wanted to punch you until you die! When you said “I’m with you until the end of the line” something blew up in my mind. I remembered everything and who you are. Then, I saw you were falling into the river. I jumped in and I tried to catch you. Some seconds later, I rescued you and I left you in the river bank. I’m sorry again, Steve. I could not  
look at you because I can’t believe that I tried to kill you with my own hands. That’s why I escaped.  
Now I’m in the airplane going to somewhere. I want badly forget this day. I tried to kill you!! And your new friend. A friend with wings. It’s awesome. It’s better than a serial-killer like me... Now, I want to be far away from you. I don’t wanna hurt you, neither kill you. I need to be alone for a while. So, a last request... please, Steve. Don’t follow me. Don’t find me. I want you alive.  
Hugs,  
Bucky”

  
_**Chapter 10** _

 

\- Hey, Steve. How are you? Are you at the airport? – Sam asked while he’s looking through the window at the entrance of the laboratory.  
\- Hey, Sam. I’m fine. Now, I’m going to catch the airplane. In one hour I’ll be there. How’s Bucky?

Sam turned and saw Bucky sleeping deeply.

\- He didn’t wake up from anesthesia. And I don’t know when he will wake up...  
\- That’s okay. Thanks for everything, son. Now I have to turn off my phone. See you soon!  
\- No problem at all. See you. – Sam hung up and sat down close to Bucky.  
\- Do you know what? I will download Pokémon Go and I’ll play until you wake up or until Steve arrives.

Sam played Pokémon Go for an hour. He went to all the rooms to catch Pokémons. He had 20 so far. He returned to the bedroom. Bucky was sleeping. Suddenly, Sam noticed there was a Pokémon in that room. He walked until he saw there was a Pikachu. And Pikachu was on Bucky’s belly.

\- Pikachu... I will catch you!!!! – Sam screamed and caught the Pikachu.  
\- What?!? Pikachu? What is that, Sam?  
\- Pikachu? What? You don’t know what is Pika...Oh God! You’re awake!!! – Then Sam threw away the phone and hugged Bucky. Bucky was feeling a bit dumb but he was surprised with that hug. He hugged back with a big smile.

\- Hey! Are you okay? – Sam didn’t believe he hugged Bucky and he was awake – Do you need something? I’m glad you’re alive.  
\- Yeah... I’m okay and I don’t need anything... Am I really cured?  
\- I hope yes! The doctors will examine you and test you with those three books... – Sam pointed in direction to three books which were on the white desk.  
\- I don’t wanna them to test me...  
\- But they have to, man.  
\- I want you to test me. – Sam shivered. He didn’t want to. He can’t do it.  
\- I can’t do it...  
\- Yes, you can! Do it now. Read the mission of the Starks... No one will see us neither listen to us.

Sam took a deep breath and stood up and walked until he reached the desk. He opened the red book with a star. He found the page and when he was about to read, he started to tremble.

\- Don’t be nervous. Come on! You can do it! – Bucky smiled but Sam was not so confident that would work.  
\- Furnace... Benign...Rusted... One... Daybreak... Nine... Longing... Seventeen... Homecoming... Freight car...

It was a moment of silence. Bucky was silent and smiling. Sam looked at him. Nothing happened. Bucky was cured.

\- Sam, do you know what this means?  
\- Oh my God! You are really cured!! – he closed the book and hugged again Bucky.  
\- This is a great new! You’re not the devil anymore!!

Bucky laughed but somehow his laugh faded.

\- Yeah... Where’s Steve?  
\- I think he’s almost here. – suddenly, they a heard a noise of footsteps running. The door opened. It was Steve. Sam stepped back with a smile giving him space to step closer to Bucky.

\- Steve! I’m back! Come here, my buddy!! – Bucky’s smile was so big that made Steve dropping some tears of happiness. Steve ran and hugged so tightly Bucky. Sam was watching all this beautiful scene. He also dropped some tears and chuckled. “Now, I’m sure that we will become a great trio and we will fight against the bad guys!”

  
**The End**


End file.
